The White House revealed today that Obama has even more talents than anyone thought. According to the press statement delivered by of all characters, a munchkin resembling an Umpa Lumpa, Obama has been laying golden eggs continuously since he first entered the White House.
An Obama Golden Egg
“Now, Obama is not one to brag, ” said the munchkin. “But he has laid nearly 450 million golden eggs, each weighing 14 ounces. With an ounce going for about $1000, each American citizen will get nearly $14,000 if they choose to cash in their egg.”
Critics aren’t so impressed. GOP leader, Eric Cantor believes that Obama has been sloughing off and that he should have solved all the world’s problems within 4 days of entering office.
“He’s a lazy ass,” said the congressman. “Golden eggs!? What a gimmick. There’s no excuse for not encrusting those eggs with fancy diamonds and rubles. When I get mine, it’s going to be a paper weight.”
The White House had deliberately been covering up the egg distribution and had code-named it ‘Bung O Bling’ to control problems with over excitement or anticipation. In fact, an elaborate, secret distribution system had been developed. According to sources that refused to let us put their names down for fear of being yelled at, Obama has been wearing special pants that contain a catcher’s mitt in the butt area. The mitt has a small hole with a pipe connected that runs down Obama’s pant leg and into briefcase that is always at his side. Periodically, an aid then replaces the full case with a new empty one.
“It’s quite a production,” said the little munchkin. “Everyone can breathe easy now. Big bucks are on the way and all of your problems will be solved by someone our leader.”
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