In a stunning revelation during his morning radio show, Rush Limbaugh, stated that he is hot sex adverse and he believes others should consider coming forward and admitting their fears.
“Let me tell you America,” said Limbaugh. “I am hot sex adverse. I’m not afraid to admit it. Hot sex can be a frightening, unfathomable thing to many. If it’s hot, I’m not!”
It’s uncommon for most humans to ever comment about their fear of good sex in public and it is believed Limbaugh is one of the first.
“There’s a reason my name is Rush. I used to get into hot-sex situations and it’d be over in 34 seconds,” continued Limbaugh. “Nowadays, arms and legs akimbo is the craziest thing I’ll enter into.”
Much of the radio star’s fans are showing compassion and don’t feel that they will change their listening habits.
“It’s not like I would ever consider sex with him any ways. I just listen to him,” said Francine Locks. “And none of my friends have ever thought about hot sex with him. We’d rather smell bowls of manure.”
Oddly, Limbaugh claims to be working on a series of romance novels for dogs.
“Now dogs are very romantic life forms. And they have a strong love towards other dogs. I think it’s something that will be big in the future.”
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