ScoopGods.com – Many were shocked to learn today that the Best Disaster Award for 2009 went to Haiti, being that the award-winning earthquake happened in 2010. The award, which was given at the after show ceremony for categories that most people are bored with, was the first for Haiti in the disaster category although they did win a Lifetime Underachievement Award in 1997 for its consistent state of despair and ongoing poverty.
“We just had to give it to Haiti,” said Golden Globe President, Philip Berk. “They went all out to invite such a dramatic disaster! The amount of devil worshipping and conjuring must have been immense!”
Berk also stated that they felt the disaster did wonders for most news stations and ratings shot up to an amazing level.
The 700 Club, hosted by Pat Robertson, reported a 66.6% increase in viewers due to the disaster and reported that viewers had donated 66.6 million dollars to the Haitian Evil Lurking Lord Association (HELL), which was established immediately after the disaster to study ways to lift the Devil’s pact with the Haitian people.
“I honestly believe that this award is going to help us boost revenue,” said Robertson. “It’s likely that we’ll purchase a nice boat with the proceeds and head on down there to scoot that Devil away.”
When reached by phone, Haitian Foreign Minister, Jean-Max Bellerive, was eager to accept the award and was grateful to the association for choosing his country.
“We are so grateful that this award came to us,” said Bellerive. “Many of the men in our government have a very nice revenue sharing deal with Pat and we’ll soon be able to leave this hell hole! Thank you God, or Devil… Whoever! This is just awesome.”
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