Kiss that ball good bye!
ScoopGods.com – Corey Bendy is an innovative kind of guy. When he was just four, he devised a new way to cough by using his anus. At age 10, he forced himself to learn how to cry with only one eye, so he could still see during the sad times. By 12, he had perfected clapping to the point when he cheered at any event, it took only one clap to create the noise and excitement that he felt was necessary.
His keen abilities to get the best out of the body God gave him has paid off. Today, four NFL teams are anxiously jockeying to get a chance at drafting the amazing punter. It seems that Mr. Bendy has invented and perfected a two-footed punt.
“Your legs are the strongest muscles in your body,” explained Bendy. ”And like most, I have two of them. I figured that I could kick twice as far and twice as high if I just used both. Double the strength means double the trouble for the returners.”
One would think that punting with two feet creates a problem. How does he plant himself to kick it? Doesn’t he need at least one foot down? Fortunately, we had a chance to meet with Corey and he showed us how it’s done. Unfortunately for you readers, we do not have the capacity to provide video because we cannot seem to find a VHS camera anywhere.
We met Mr. Bendy at a high school football field just south of where most people live. He had just one football and was wearing an old football uniform. He was a bit chubbier than we would have thought, but we didn’t have much time to think about anything. Mr. Bendy immediately provided us a punting show that we will likely never forget.
How does it work? I would best describe it as a backflip with a punt in there somewhere. He tosses the ball about 3 feet in the air. Just as the ball leaves his hands, he does a scootchie, scootchie move where he makes a fist in both hands, pumps them back in forth and twists his hips with each thrust. Next his chest juts out and then the rest of the bottom part of the body follows as if he’s doing the worm backwards while standing up. Finally, his the motion reaches his feet and because they have the most distance to catch up with his body, they thunder forward and both strike the ball with such force, I’m surprised it doesn’t pop.
Impact makes a huge booming sound and then the ball takes off as if it’s a 18-year old wild woman being freed from living under the oppression of a demented preacher dad. It goes and goes so high up in the sky that birds dart us a dirty look as we watch it ascend past them. Finally, it makes the trip back down and I realize that it has landed 90 yards from where we are standing. Amazing!
But you’d think that would be it. But it’s not. The ball didn’t even bounce. It came down with a thud that I’m certain that if I’d heard it with my eyes closed, I would have thought that I just heard King Kong leave a brown mound.
“How the hell did you do that?” I screamed with glee! ”How did you make it not bounce?”
He didn’t need to answer. That bastard had popped the ball. All the way down the field, just inches from the pylon was a flat, lifeless ball ready to be downed. And he says it pops every time. This guy is certainly going to be a dominant force in the league.
Bendy, who is just 18, indicated that he’d like to play for the Lions most of all.
“I want to help the Lions out,” revealed Bendy. “I feel that my technique could inspire the team and help them win 4 games or maybe 5.”
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