SccopGods.com: Editors at Sass Magazine know a hot thing when they see it and right now, they are sizzling around earthquakes.
“Oh my god, earthquakes are so amazingly hot right now,” said Bessy Wrangler, Sass’ managing editor. “They’re popping up all over and triggering some great, grimy and inspiring fashion.”
Specifically, this year’s devastating earthquakes in Haiti and Chile have the fashion world melting with envy as designers clamor to see the looks that have sprouted from the crumbling hotspots.
“Oh my god, they have some of the best looks I’ve ever seen,” added Joe Dockers, Fashion Director at the magazine. ”The style is just so raw, and filthy, and hot! Oh my god! I simply think that what they’re doing in Chile and Haiti is going to transform this industry.”
Already, many of the world’s top designers are busying working on earthquake-inspired looks for the upcoming spring shows.
“Oh my god! I am soooo excited about some of the looks we’ve literally nabbed from the earthquake lucky duckies,” said Tom Walmarty, a leading fashion designer. “Oh my god, we are going to have so much fun dressing up the models, giving them a startled and bewildered look and having them strut down the runway. Oh my god! I imaging having like fake boulders and other debris that the models will have to glide around.”
Some people outside of the fashion world are concerned with an overall sense of contentment and lack of compassion within the industry.
“Oh, I just think that those fashion types are just mean,” said suburban housewife, Janet Long. ”They take a disaster and make it into something that benefits them. But I have to go, there is a hot sale of designer purses just about to start.”
Paula Poundstone, the world’s leader in anti-fashion has initiated the creation of a group of concerned citizens, named Don’t Quake Take. Their goal is to disrupt any fashion show that is centered around the earthquake look.
“I plan to take over the runway and pass on a message of sensitivity and caring through stand-up, style, clever wit and observational genius,” said Poundstone as she rummaged through the slacks section at a Men’s Warehouse. “It is important to me to pass this message on to the people who ruin this world by caring about things that don’t matter. Things like fashion and men! I will have them laughing and eating out of my hand by night’s end!”
New York’s fashion elite claim to not give a shit.
“Oh my god! Paula Poundstone, although seen as a strong and confident woman who’s adored by many of the lesbians in this town, she won’t bother us a bit,” stated Ford. “I’ve got friends who own Men’s Warehouses’s in NYC and I’m just going to have them send her some coupons that are good for the night of my show only! You’re going to like the way we look. I guarantee it!”
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