The Snug Jug Tug Bra From Playtex
ScoopGods.com – Playtex has always aimed to solve the endless battle between breasts, gravity and cocks. And now, they are wowwing the brazzier industry with a new bra that takes the danger and clumsiness out of titty-fucking.
The new bra, amply named the Snug Jug Tug, is the first of its kind to come with a compartment for the male penis. Better yet, the compartment is inflatable and can be prepped for action in a mere 3 pumps which can be performed via the attached hand pump.
“We’ve constantly heard from women looking for something better,” said Kevin Dunn, Playtex’s head of product development. “The biggest gripe was how tiring it was holding the breasts together to achieve optimism friction for orgasm. This new bra works great. I know first hand! Ask my secretary.”
The bra, which retails for $49.99, comes in a variety of colors and sizes. The company also has some high-tech add-ons coming such as a miniature iPod monitor which will allow women to be entertained as they lay waiting for their loved one to finish. Playtex also plans to release a “sneeze” guard add-on to prevent unwanted fluids from reaching the woman’s facial area.
“Up until the Snug Jug Tug, my boyfriend’s oddly shaped penis was constantly flailing over, under and around my supple breasts,” said bra user, Brenda Bolhicken. “It was frustrating for both of us. Frankly, it was like his dick was a fish out of water. But with this new bra, it’s convenient for both of us to enjoy.
As can be suspected, several church leaders condemned the product and plan to use their copious amounts of idle time writing sadly-written letters to the company’s customer service department.
“A female’s breasts are for one reason and one reason only,” said Anthony O’Connell, Palm Beach FL emeritus and former bishop, as he sat watching a boys little league baseball game. ”To provide nutrients to little, wittle babies.”
“Oh, I disagree Father,” said Al Dilfin, who was sitting next to O’Connell. “As you know, when I used to confess my
Al Dilfin, an average guy, likes the new bra.
sins to you, I always talked about pounding jugs. That’s all I ever think about. Bam, Bam, Bam. I think that this product, this new bra, is going to help me with my fetish.”
“Oh, Al, you musn’t let the devil over take your desires,” interjected O’Connell. ”Don’t succumb to him. I think you and I better talk more about this.”
“You know father, you make me mad,” retaliated Dilfin. “I think your non-stop fondling back in the 60′s pretty much screwed me up! So, if I want to pump breasts, I’m going to.”
“Shut up you! We had a deal!,” said O’Connell, who was now trembling with anger. “Five thousand dollars a month if you keep it to yourself.”
O’Connell abruptly stopped talking and did as our reporter to leave him alone.
In summary, we think a lot of women are going to be much more eager to titty-fuck thanks to Playtex.
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