Blog Archives

A Focused Study of Sombrero Repair Skills

October 12, 2011

ScoopGods.com – Maisy Mason was a helping sort of person. She has lived at 5th and Randolph for much of her life, and it’s been quite a long life. Maisy’s a handsome old woman for an eighty one year old. During her many years of life she’s been able to accumulate many talents, more so that the usual person of her advanced age, and now that she’s in her golden years she never passes up an opportunity to put them to good use. On this afternoon she was out sunbathing in her front yard when a sad looking mariachi...

The Gods are at War! Does Anyone Care?

September 29, 2011

By Oggy Herman

ScoopGods.com – How could he know that war is at hand? The young boy sits with his bowl of cereal and calmly goes about his breakfast, unaware of the coming events. His spoon moves about hungrily as he gazes into the sugary mound with innocent eyes. The cereal is comforting and reliable. It sets his mood as ease and give him energy, lots of energy, in order to start his day explosively. Does he know that war is coming? Does he even care? The petty princess outside his window watches him as he takes bite after bite. She stands...

A Vegan’s Guide to Office Politics

September 23, 2011

By Oggy Herman

ScoopGods.com – Wendell Laramie was tired of standing. He could feel the sweat forming on the inside of his elbows and running down into the attached gloves of his furry suit. As the time rolled on his legs were becoming weak, rubbery, and sticky. Finally, his boss hung up the phone. “Wendell, you’re not getting the carrot, now get out of here,” said his boss. Wendell slinked off to his desk to work up another plan. He had been waiting for his boss to get off the phone for around 40 minutes. While standing in his boss’s office, the...

Tales of Love and Adventure

September 20, 2011

By Oggy Herman

ScoopGods.com – “I want to get to know you my love,” said the portly fellow wearing a bob to the extremely attractive woman lounging in the hotel bar. “Well then write about how stupid you look with that shirt on,” she replied with venom in her voice. The portly little man was saddened by this and walked out onto the sidewalk. He had some ideas about how to win over this woman of beauty, and decided to try them out. The first idea he had was to dress up like a giant bee and try and climb on top of her. She...

Noticing an Itch is Always Not Unfavorable

September 19, 2011

By Oggy Herman

Noticing an Itch is Always Not Unfavorable

ScoopGods.com – Allan Gooseburg has a very important mission. He must transport a glass of delicious cranberry juice across his kitchen. The glass is of large size and it is filled up to the brim. The task absolutely must be completed because on the other side of the kitchen is a thirsty fellow sitting in a chair. He is stricken with thirst and needs the nutritiousness that only some good cranberry juice can bring. The thirsty fellow is a small, peaked looking man who enjoys cataloging exemplary acts of wimpiness that have occurred over the last four decades in...

Waffle Iron Theory and the History of the Universe

September 18, 2011

By Oggy Herman

Waffle Iron Theory and the History of the Universe

ScoopGods.com – Deep in the heart of the mall, in a little office behind Bath and Body Works, sat an unremarkable looking man. He sat on his desk cross-legged and looked at me with deep caring eyes. I shifted my weight from foot to foot and looked at his shoes. They were simple shoes made out of grocery bag paper and masking tape. “Have a seat,” he said to me in a gentle tone, “I can see, my son, that you are a victim of the waffle iron.” He rose from his desk and stood there looking down at...

Young Man Perplexed by Skinny Jeans

September 14, 2011

By Oggy Herman

ScoopGods.com – In a desolate suburb of Idaho there exists a young man who has no answers to the mysteries of his skinny jeans. For weeks after buying a pair, Yarlick Winters couldn’t figure out what to do with them. He would put them on, feel good for awhile then take them off. Sometimes he would wear them to school, but after returning he would always feel regretful and unhappy. He tried lending his prized pair of jeans to friends, but always got mixed results. Finally he wore them with a system of rubber bands underneath to create a...

Rodeo Champ makes Easy Transition to Being a Nanny

September 8, 2011

By Oggy Herman

Rodeo Champ makes Easy Transition to Being a Nanny

ScoopGods.com – After being thrown at least 15 feet off of a bull, Red Buckhorn lay on his back looking up at the sky. To his left he could see a section of cheering people as he rose up into a sitting position. Among those in the crowd was a man wearing a light peach colored suit who was motioning him to get up. Red rose to his feet and walked off the rodeo grounds for the last time. It was a moment where Red’s life made one of those unexpected and unforeseen turns. He was a sturdy man...

Ice Cream Man Visits Horticultural Onion Festival

September 1, 2011

By Oggy Herman

Ice Cream Man Visits Horticultural Onion Festival

ScoopGods.com – The Horticultural Onion Festival was in town bringing many of the highest level power brokers in the onion growing industry. The massive festival spread across the entire city park and even expanding out into the ball park, school playground, yards, streets, etc. Many were standing in large packs, others were seated at one of the many picnic tables spread across town. All were sampling onions of every variety. Grills and portable fryers where hard at work causing a haze of smoke and steam to linger in the air. “This onion tastes great,” said a man dressed in...

IT Professional Uses the Grill for Support

August 31, 2011

By Oggy Herman

IT Professional Uses the Grill for Support

ScoopGods.com – On a regular Tuesday Mark Bouman gets to his desk around 8:45am and starts up his portable grill. Once the surface of the grill is hot enough to make droplets of water dance across the surface, he throws on some half pound hamburger patties then gets to work. Bouman is an IT professional who is very knowledgeable in all areas of of his company’s computer network, but also can create one of the best burgers in the area. “I go see Mark a lot for his computer advice,” said Gladys Wetherby, “adding the burger component was pure...

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Blog Archives

A Focused Study of Sombrero Repair Skills

The Gods are at War! Does Anyone Care?

A Vegan’s Guide to Office Politics

Tales of Love and Adventure

Noticing an Itch is Always Not Unfavorable

Waffle Iron Theory and the History of the Universe

Young Man Perplexed by Skinny Jeans

Rodeo Champ makes Easy Transition to Being a Nanny

Ice Cream Man Visits Horticultural Onion Festival

IT Professional Uses the Grill for Support

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