ScoopGods.com – Two years ago, Fred Zachary was really hungry for a release. Being a self-proclaimed glory hole king, Fred was becoming increasingly aggravated during a three day outdoor music festival. The festival was in a remote area with no permanent bathrooms or buildings and more importantly, no well-known glory hole locations. Then Zachary had a flash of genius. What if he were to design portable glory hole “pods” and place them at remote locations? Would they actually work?
ScoopGods.com – To most, a riot is unpleasant and frightening. But to one US company, it’s fucking awesome. The company you ask? Well, it’s a steel baton manufacturer who has an exclusive contract with the Iranian security forces and when there’s tension, business booms, literally.
ScoopGods.com – In what it says is the perfect solution for enhancing the lives of its customers, Wells Fargo has added several new services to its ATM’s throughout the world. The bundle of services, coined “PIN Up” began showing up on ATM screens this morning and by 9 AM, thousands of customers were spending more time and money at the ATM’s. “We had two objectives,” started company CEO John Stumpf. ”One, to help our customers with their day-to-day activities and two, we wanted to make so much money that the executive team could afford to buy small villages in...
ScoopGods – In a constant quest to provide the most complete eating experience ever, McDonalds has installed adult-sized Sit and Spin seating in nearly half of its restaurants in what the company says is an effort to enhance the dining experience, but further investigation by the ScoopGods Team unveils a sinister and rather troubling scheme aimed at belittling and extracting more revenue out of unknowing customers. “Everyone loves to sit and spin,” said McDonald’s Marketing VP, Syndney Johnson. “And now we offer that to our most respected customers.”
ScoopGods.com – The popular toilet cleaner Sani Flush has been discontinued by the manufacturer due to negative effects its chemicals have on the environment. Many consumers have relied on this heavy duty bowl cleaner over the years to remove calcium and other hard-to-remove deposits. The collective dismay over this horrible development, along with extreme worry over how to replace it, was heard across the nation. “I used it every Monday morning,” said Mildred Plow as she was eating desert at a favorite breakfast establishment, “That’s when the toilet got clean and ready for the week ahead. Without it I’m...
ScoopGods.com – The convincing actor, James Gandolfini, has joined forces with Medi Masks Inc. to market CPAP masks that just might appeal to the Mafia and its followers. CPAP Masks are used in conjunction with other machinery to help people who suffer from sleep apnea. Essentially, the devices force air into the patient’s nasal passages to prevent the passage ways from closing temporarily during sleep. If you’re too stupid to understand this, it’s the disorder that makes certain people snore really loud.
ScoopGods.com – Marty Mitters has brought a case against Wal-Mart because he was unable to buy a cubicle wall at his neighborhood store. “What a deceptive name,” said Mitters. The case seeks damages of two million dollars for deceptive business practices and $4 to cover Mitter’s bus fare. When asked about the case, a Wal-Mart spokesman laughed and pushed a button in a drawer in his desk and within two hours we at ScoopGods received an email that stated the case had been dropped because Mitters had no desire to continue and that he no longer needed a wall...
In a stupendous move, Hasbro, the makers of mega board game hits such as Monopoly, Scrabble and Clue has announced a series of board games just for airline pilots. “Simply, we realized that we have missed an untapped market,” stated Hasbro CEO, Brian Goldner. “Pilots have a ton of time to kill and what could be better than a great board game designed just for them?”
In a article published in nearly every magazine on earth, every economist agrees that the US is blessed and will be able to restore economic growth that will never end. “Once we get past this current recession, the USA will start an economic growth streak that will NEVER end,” said Economist, Tucker Wibly. “Every American can safely put their money in the stock market because it will continue to provide returns for eternity.”
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