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Oprah Scoop: Oprah Takes On New Challenge as Head Writer for South Park

November 20, 2009
By Chico Jameson

ScoopGods.com – In a shocking announcement, Oprah revealed that she’s leaving her highly successful talk show at the end of 2011 to become the head writer for South Park. “South Park needs a minority, a female and an urban voice,” said Oprah. “It’s an amazing program but with me behind it, well, it’s going to be DAMN amazing.” Industry experts are a little confused as to why Oprah would apply her talents to a show aimed at the male, 20 to 35 year-old demographic.  That’s until they got a sneak peek at the script for Oprah’s first story. “The...

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Obama Does Racy China-man Skit In Shanghai Town Hall To Raise Awareness on Censorship

November 16, 2009
By Chico Jameson
Obama Does Racy China-man Skit In Shanghai Town Hall To Raise Awareness on Censorship

ScoopGods.com – President Obama showed up at a town hall meeting sporting a stereotypical conical straw hat, a gray wig, fake buck teeth and Chinese laundry sandals in an effort to get the Chinese government to reconsider its position on internet censorship, specifically political content and porn. No US president has ever used a skit to persuade another country on any of its policies, but the Obama administration wanted to take advantage of the President’s many talents. Just as the President was introduced, he entered slowly from stage left dressed as a typical older chinaman. He played the role...

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Paris Hilton Masterminds Hilton Hotels Corporate Takeover

November 14, 2009
By Chico Jameson

ScoopGods.com – Hilton stockholders might be experiencing pantfulls of self-induced excrement right now after last night’s shocking but brilliant takeover of Hilton Hotels by none other than Paris Hilton, America’s socialite.  “We’re shocked,” said Hilton’s chairman, Sir Dirk Ramada.  “We still are trying to figure out what happened.” According to SEC documents, Ms. Hilton instigated a hostile, tender, reverse and friendly takeover with a little bit of a proxy fight just to top it off.  She used two cute Shih Tzus dogs, a pearl-encrusted custom iPhone, a pimped out 1984 Chevy Impala and 22 impromptu appearances at 17 Manhattan...

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Another Bank Robbed By Man Disguised As Pringles Duck

November 9, 2009
By Chico Jameson
Another Bank Robbed By Man Disguised As Pringles Duck

ScoopGods.com – In yet another bold crime, the Onemia, MN Woodlands National Bank was robbed by a man masking himself with only a pair of sunglasses and two potato crisp snacks.  The robbery is the 8th in the country this year and the National Bank Robber Association indicates that there may be more before the year ends. “We are scared,” said Onemia Police Chief, Ed Pool. “ You see, junk food is bad all the way around. We were robbed and there’s no way we’ll be able to catch this guy.  I don’t know if Pringles realizes that the shape of...

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Obama Can Lay Golden Eggs. One Will Be Distributed to Each US Citizen to Fix Everyone’s Problems

November 6, 2009
By Chico Jameson
Obama Can Lay Golden Eggs. One Will Be Distributed to Each US Citizen to Fix Everyone’s Problems

The White House revealed today that Obama has even more talents than anyone thought.  According to the press statement delivered by of all characters, a munchkin resembling an Umpa Lumpa, Obama has been laying golden eggs continuously since he first entered the White House. “Now, Obama is not one to brag, ” said the munchkin. “But he has laid nearly 450 million golden eggs, each weighing 14 ounces.  With an ounce going for about $1000, each American citizen will get nearly $14,000 if they choose to cash in their egg.” Critics aren’t so impressed.  GOP leader, Eric Cantor believes...

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