Tech

Honda Invents New Screw System – The HumpoTight

January 2, 2010
By Chico Jameson

ScoopGods.com – One great thing about covering technology is that you get to see stuff that’s coming out months, and sometimes years before the rest of the public sees it.  Yesterday, we were blessed with a sneak-peek that had us so happy and amazed that we were hugging strangers in the street and making out with homeless people, even going so far as to violently french kissing their toothless mouths. Why so much glee?  Well, years ago, Honda’s human resource department noticed that morale at their assembly plant was at an all-time low.  The predominantly male workforce worked strenuous...

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Large Hedron Collider Hits Full Power – Massive Instantaneous Orgasms Ensue

January 2, 2010
By Chico Jameson
Large Hedron Collider Hits Full Power – Massive Instantaneous Orgasms Ensue

ScoopGods.com – For some time, extremely nerdy scientists, the type who were most likely driven to extremes due to the constant ridicule you and your teen buddies inflicted, have wanted to answer some of the most fundamental questions in physics hopefully allowing progress in understanding the deepest laws of nature. Today, they learned what happens when you collide opposing particle beams of protons at an energy of 7 TeV per particle – Everyone orgasms and then Pikachu appears from within the tunnel with a box of Kleenix to help clean up. “It’s inconceivable,” declared LHC Directory General Rolf Heuer as he smoked a cigarette just minutes after...

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Microsoft Launches New Mobile Overhead Projector

December 20, 2009
By Chico Jameson
Microsoft Launches New Mobile Overhead Projector

ScoopGods.com – Microsoft’s top secret innovation department has been working on a product that they feel makes industry pioneers such as Apple look like stagecoach manufacturers.  The world’s dominating software company has a gameplan that targets older math professors and church clergy who are on the go.  The product, named the ReflectoGo Projector, goes on sale tomorrow and many are verbally jizzing about the product. “This product is going to give me the ability to launch into an impromptu 15 minute trigonometry lesson to a group of troubled teens no matter where I find them,” said 11th grade Red...

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